Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
