big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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