I wish i was in the wii world.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
