OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
operation have a gay friend backfired
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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