They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
