Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
