Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
