sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
