so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize