do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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