spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
