She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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