can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
