we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
