you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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