I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
