like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
