That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
