I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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