In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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