Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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(917): View more from New York City

Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it

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(916): View more from California

Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

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(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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(206): View more from Washington

Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.

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(949): View more from California

"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

the sex got boring after the first three hours

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

holy shit

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