just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
