you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
