I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
