He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
