You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize