My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
