I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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