Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize