what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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