found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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