I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
