yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
