And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
