Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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