just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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