This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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