I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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