sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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