your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
