I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
They have beer where we have blood.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
