how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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