1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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