i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
