this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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