Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
