He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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