i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize