I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize