The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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