i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize