i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
