go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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