their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
