I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
