I got chris browned last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
