as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
