Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
