omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
