fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize