As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I die, sorry about rent.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize