Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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